나이가 안 먹나.
Many asked me here why I came to Korea. Some of my friends know and among them some understand the instability I was in, when I was in Italy.
In Europe we’re not 1000 euro generation anymore. Jobless, neets, then some become hikikomori, maybe without even knowing the name.
I worked hard in the past. that has brought to NOTHING. I’m sick of Italy and its politics, its society. My land is one of the most beautiful on earth, no… let’s say the truth: IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL on earth and nobody can deny it.
We breath history, culture, we’re standing on the shoulders of giants, it’s not our merit, but we have this heritage and we interiorize it while we grow up.
but suddenly, from growing up, you’ve grown old and despite every effort just the fact to be honest and cannot do anything against it… it ruins your life. so you dream you could be deceitful, that you could play with people, that you have no real feelings.
Or… you start it all over again.
It’s the third time in my life I’m starting over again. It’s tiring, it’s difficult and the more you grow older, the more is difficult to accept other’s failures.
But… then comes the beauty of the things you don’t know and you don’t understand, but you wish to comprehend, make yours, as a part of you, like a liver or… lungs. so that you can breath with that, so that your heart can beat again, feel alive again.
So… many times in the last six months I’m asking myself “why the hell did I come to this place???”. The answer is in the question: it’s so difficult here that I feel alive, because I’m trying so hard, despite my habits, my way of thinking.
In this path, during last 6 months, I left many people behind. Sometimes I was wrong, sometimes they were wrong, maybe we just didn’t care enough to fight the obstacles between us. That is what I don’t want anymore.
I want to fight, harder.